“Allowing yourself to be ‘vulnerable’ is much more about strength than about weakness; it’s about giving yourself permission to grow.”
~ Jim Sebastian Sharman
As I mentioned in the Introduction of my book, “INSPIRE Starts With I”, I originally started this reflections project by writing material that was based on other people’s quotations, including those from some of my greatest inspirations: Rabindranath Tagore, Dr Wayne Dyer, Buddha, etc.
The quotation that heads up this chapter of the book was the first example in the original project which consisted fully of my own thoughts.
In composing my own quotations, I knew that I was taking a risk, but it was a willing one. I had decided to take the opportunity to be consciously “vulnerable” and to speak more of my inner truth. By doing so, I had a chance to demonstrate that personal growth can provide us with additional strength.
Practising what we preach is sometimes a frightening prospect, as it sometimes requires us to take such risks. When we do, we might discover we can offer wise words that make sense to others, and we might have people in our lives who need to hear words that offer them comfort or reassurance in challenging times.
Inevitably, there comes a time in our lives when we really need to follow those advisory words ourselves. This was one such time.
Sharing my own attempts at wisdom through being inspired by someone else’s words is one thing, but basing an inspirational text on even one phrase of my own was another entirely. Initially, it was a very scary prospect, and I noticed ‘imposter syndrome’ kicking in immediately – and hard! I knew I was about to make myself vulnerable.
I then remembered what Kipling said about triumph and disaster, about how we can treat both imposters the same way. That gave me much-needed reassurance.
Being vulnerable is not the same as being weak. In fact, I’d say it’s the opposite; it took a lot of personal courage for me to stand up and be seen this way. Yet, in doing so, even if it turned out that nobody was watching, I knew that I would’ve at least stood up for and stood by my words. That in itself proved to be a source of new strength, which, ultimately, resulted in me having the courage to do 30 more! I was way out of my comfort zone and (at least at first) relishing the challenge. The fear only kicked back in later – as mentioned in the Introduction.
When we expand our comfort zones, incorporate new experiences, dare to be seen, risk being exposed or judged, are courageous enough to say things like, “Normally, this makes me feel very insecure, but it’s time to embrace my own strengths and show up!”, we give ourselves permission to try at least to succeed – which is success in and of itself.
Then, when we take that leap of faith in ourselves, there becomes no such thing as failure.
If only more people embraced the idea that ‘failure’, as we perceive it, is just an illusion, and it only exists in our minds!
The real failure in life is in not trying to do something you want or know you need to do. Even then, “failure” is a strong and emotive word, conjuring up all sorts of negative emotions.
Instead, when we give ourselves permission not to succeed at every single attempt we make at every single objective, task, goal, or desire, we then actually open ourselves up to the learning we can derive from every single attempt. We give ourselves permission to grow.
Even the ‘successful’ attempts present us with learning experiences which, when integrated fully into our lives, allow us to deepen our learning and, ultimately, go beyond the self-imposed limitations we normally place on ourselves. How exciting is that?
Embracing vulnerability has driven me towards new-found levels of confidence in writing. I’ll confess that I was very surprised by the initial positive reactions, so much so that I found myself wondering when the bubble would burst, and the avalanche of derision would engulf me. It never came. That also surprised me. The positive reception inspired me to keep going, to ponder more deeply, and to unleash my curiosity in ways that I’d not explored before.
The insight into my own learning process was illuminating. Did I get it right every time? Of course not – but I had one hell of an entertaining journey in discovering what worked and what didn’t, what landed and what fell woefully short of the runway. When brainstorming, everything is valid and I brought it all to the table. Vulnerability? It’s a superpower!
In conclusion, I’m reminded of a shorter piece of philosophical thinking, source unknown, but one which has inspired me a lot over the years – “Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn.”
Put another way, as Yoda once did, “Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.” And that’s where belief comes in. More on that in Chapter 28!
Stop just trying, with the subconscious or very aware sense of the possibility of “failure”. Instead, start doing – with the firm belief that you can and will succeed instead. You might surprise yourself by how much and how quickly you then grow. I know I did.
What are you holding back from? How can you expand today? Is there something you’re itching to say, write, perform or build? Have you denied yourself the opportunity because of fear or not feeling worthy enough? Instead, will you take the risk to grow? Will you be vulnerable today?
