Purpose
I’d realised, after reading The Red Hand Files by Nick Cave, that I had, ten years ago, seen his epic biographical film ‘20,000 Days On Earth’ and I sensed that my own 20,000th day on Earth was rapidly approaching.
To celebrate my milestone, one so beautifully captured by Nick Cave for himself, I instantly knew I had neither the budget nor energy to make a major biopic (!)
To quote Nick Cave himself, from his song Jubilee Street which features heavily in his film:
“I am transforming, I am vibrating, I am glowing, I am flying. Look at me now.”
I had found an online calculator to determine on which specific date I would be 20,000 days old.
With a wry smile, I noticed how the URL of that site could look like “www dot day sold dot com” (!)
With a not-so-wry smile, I discovered that day that I was only 26 days away from the 20,000-day mark.
So, instead, I wondered how I could easily conjure up some milestones in my life – but how to choose them?? I figured that could be too subjective an exercise in melancholy or megalomania…
Then I thought I should just break it down to the thousands, which would generate a random date from my life, and I could reflect on how things were on, or close to, that specific date – and maybe find the best photo to reflect those times (if I even had one).
Perhaps then I could remember something interesting/significant about that day, or around that time, which could become an anecdote – motivational or melancholic, it doesn’t matter which.
I also wondered if I could find a suitable image for each stage, too, or at least as close as I could get. Here goes!
Method
On the same website already mentioned, I discovered a way to determine my exact age at key milestones, e.g., 1,000 days old.
(For anyone who has not yet reached 20,000 days, I found this site most helpful. Enter your birthday there (it can even accept the exact hours, minutes, and seconds – good luck remembering those!), and it’ll tell you all sorts of fascinating metrics!)
Admittedly, having such a convenient birth date – especially one that starts a new decade – makes it spectacularly easy to work out something like the exact age if you tell me literally any date after 01.01.1970.
But working out how many days on Earth that equates to is a little more complicated…therefore, I am grateful to the creators of www.daysold.com!
I then searched through my archives to select an image that is as close to each specific date as I could manage and one that suits the mood of that time. Some dates were easier than others…and it seems I have none which are bang-on (other than today’s)! So much for fate!
Finally, I reflected on what music was most influential to me at that time and I’ve researched the tracks, plus, where relevant, added some of the lyrics to help give context for why they mattered then.
Images, Reflections, Music:
0 – Thursday, 1 January 1970, age = 0 (or 3,470, depending on your belief system!)
I have no memory of this time. This is, of course, common – who does remember their birth? But I am grateful to my parents for creating me – and to my mum for holding off long enough so I wasn’t born in the 60’s 😂
The Beatles, Abbey Road – “And in the end, The love you take is equal to the love you make!”
1,000 – Friday, 1 September 1972, age = 2.
This would have been my father’s 25th birthday. I still have no conscious memory yet – but here’s a picture of us together, just six months later when Dark Side of the Moon was released. I believe he’s listening to it here. So was I. 👍
Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon – “Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time. Plans that either come to nought or half a page of scribbled lines. Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way. The time is gone; the song is over. Thought I’d something more to say.”
2,000 – Sunday, 25 May 1975, age = 5.
By now, I had awareness and memory. This is around the time of my parents’ break up. Here we are camping in Wales. I’m not sure if this is before or after, I think before. Anyway, childhood didn’t get much better after this… 😐
10CC, I’m Not In Love – “[Interlude] Be quiet, big boys don’t cry. Big boys don’t cry.”
3,000 – Monday, 20 February 1978, age = 8.
Just my mum and I were living in a home I have very bad memories of. A 2up/2down in L8 on a cobbled street. Damp. Rough. Smelly. And that was just me! Anyway, some days, I smiled. 3,000 days = just after my 8th birthday. 🥳
Kraftwerk, Neonlicht – “Neonlich, schimmerndes Neonlicht. Und wenn die nacht anbricht, ist diese stadt aus licht.”
4,000 – Thursday, 20 November 1980, age = 10.
We’re still in the same house, pictured. Life isn’t much better, I’m 10, a right little bastard, giving out and playing up to get attention. I found no photos of me from these times. John Lennon was shot a fortnight later.
John Lennon, Imagine –“Imagine there’s no heaven. It’s easy if you try. No hell below us; above us, only sky.”
5,000 – Monday, 15 August 1983, age = 13
I was clever enough to gain a full scholarship to the best school in the region – Liverpool College – where I excelled in languages, social sciences, and sports. I loved athletics! This was from Sports Day, July 1983. I’m in the middle. 😀
New Order, Blue Monday – “And still, I find it so hard to say what I need to say. But I’m quite sure that you’ll tell me just how I should feel today.”
6,000 – Monday, 10 May 1986, age = 16
By now, I was about to sit my ‘O’ Levels, having fled a failed family emigration to the US. I needed to save my education. Cue a tumultuous year or so. I passed all the exams. Just. I then found myself living alone. With no dress sense! 😂
Steve “Silk” Hurley, Jack Your Body – (It’s the first proper house track. Lyrics are irrelevant!)
7,000 – Sunday, 5 February 1989, age = 19
My last year in Liverpool, shortly before Hillsborough, soon after which I moved south. Here I am outside my flat in Toxteth. Soon after, I passed a bunch of ‘A’ Levels and joined the Met Office at RAF Benson, close to Oxford. Ahead was a mad summer though…aciiiiiid! 😀
A Guy Called Gerald, Voodoo Ray – “Ooh-oo-hoo ah-ha ha yeah (voodoo ray voodoo ray), (voodoo ray, voodoo ray, voodoo ray).”
8,000 – Tuesday, 5 November 1991, age = 21
Ah, 21. The year of heartbreak, an incredibly hot summer, meteorological heaven, clubbing every week (never took E, honestly!) I still remember the day I walked into the record shop in Wallingford and heard The Orb – and fell in love again. Oh, and I thought I could be a model. Good joke, eh?! 🌤️
The Orb, Little Fluffy Clouds – “The sunsets were purple and red and yellow, and they were on fire, and the colours would catch the clouds…”
9,000 – Monday, 1 August 1994, age = 24
At this point, I was engaged to be married and was about to leave the Met Office. Insane decisions, both of them, but also very valuable lessons later, so I remain grateful for the learning. Over time, healing has happened. We’re still in touch. Köszónöm! 🇭🇺
Orbital, Attached – (It’s an instrumental. Emphasis on mental. Try it! Space out, maaan…)
10,000 – Friday, 25 April 1997, age = 27
So. Marriage didn’t last, clearly! Living in MK by then and loving working as a Comms Skills Coach & Trainer at Merchants. That’s Jacob… Halfway through the 20,000-day journey, every day was a school day, for sure. 😬
LTJ Bukem, Music – (One of the best D&B tracks ever made, no lyrics needed.)
11,000 – Thursday, 20 January 2000, age = 30
This was three weeks after my 30th birthday, still in MK, getting into some of the best music ever made (D&B/jungle/progressive house), engaged again and about to leave Merchants, two more BIIIIIIG mistakes, but again, you know, you learn. Life goes on. 🎧
Luzon, The Baguio Track – (The vocals are sampled from somewhere else, pitched down and reversed, but what a great tune to work out to!)
12,000 – Sunday, 20 October 2002, age = 32
You know those mistakes I mentioned? Well, that’s life. I was far from happy at this time. I was losing myself in sci-fi, self-loathing… and alcohol. A few months later, I would be offered a lifeline and a chance to move to Sweden. Meanwhile, here’s the only decent pic I could find from 2002. 😵💫
FC Kahuna, Glitterball – (House track, no vocals needed!)
13,000 – Friday, 15 July 2005, age = 35
A few years of living in Sweden did me a world of good – and I received my OCD diagnosis and subsequent CBT treatment, plus a beautiful cat called Matilda, whom I loved until the day she died. 13k days also happened just after Liverpool FC won the Champions League! The memory of that night will never, ever leave me 😜
Johnny Cash, Ring of Fire – “Love is a burning thing. And it makes a fiery ring. Bound by wild desire, I fell into a ring of fire.”
14,000 – Thursday, 10 April 2008, age = 38
By this time, I’m married again. It wasn’t easy…but we had a few good years, plenty of road trips and cats (and I’d clearly eaten too many pies). The best part of these times, though, was seeing Carbon Based Lifeforms perform live a few times!
New levels of musical heaven reached! 👽
Carbon Based Lifeforms, Abiogenesis – “𝑁=𝑅∗×𝑓𝑝×𝑛𝐸×𝑓𝑙×𝑓𝑖×𝑓𝑐×𝐿(1)”
15,000 – Wednesday, 5 January 2011, age = 41
Rough years behind and ahead, unfortunately. Sweden didn’t work out, so back to the UK – and Cornwall – a place where it is notoriously hard to find permanent and enjoyable work. More on that later. At least we had sea and surf! 🏄
Carbon Based Lifeforms, Central Plain (remastered) – (No. Words. Needed.)
16,000 – Saturday, 5 October 2013, aged = 43
The end of the rough years, and a return to being a Coach/Trainer – on a cruise ship! Miami, Bahamas, Jamaica, St Kitts, Mexico, St Maarten? Yes please! Accelerated learning curve? Hard work? Definitely. Prepared me well for years ahead. I also heard great music! 🛳️
Kristina Oberžan, Stormy Monday – “The eagle flies on Friday; Saturday, I go out to play…”
17,000 – Friday, 1 July 2016, age = 46
Finally went solo with my own L&D consultancy, a lot of travel and work in many places at these times – US, UK, India, Slovenia, Sweden – great fun! Would I finally get the stability I’d been seeking all my life? Well, not quite. But, again, plenty of learning! 🤔
H.U.V.A. Network, Live at Glastonbury – (No lyrics, but one hell of an album to…relax…to!)
18,000 – Monday, 25 March 2019, age = 49
My travels took me to Estonia by now, where I learnt a lot about myself in a very short time. I’m hugely grateful to the late Taki’h Antigoni for revealing myself to myself. The picture from this time is most definitely the before. After this came major changes. In all areas. Apart from music. I still love music!
Rändaja, Tammetsõõr – “Ümber elu tammetsõõr. Tammetsõõris tammeke. Tamme otsas tõruke. Tõru sees on hingeke.”
19,000 – Thursday, 20 January 2022, age = 52.
So much upheaval, a real rollercoaster for the body, mind, soul, and heart. Near-death experiences, plus the losses of my father, a couple of great jobs, a pet, two relationships, and some good friends, all served to teach me to slow the **** down. So, I did.
Carbon Based Lifeforms, Live at Tillsammans, Slaktkyrkan, Sotckholm, 2021-10-02 – “Gravity. Weight. Restore equilibrium. Movement. Back and forth!”
20,000 – Friday, 4 October 2024, age = 54.
They say that age is “just a number” – yet very few seem to analyse what that really means. 20,000 is another number – and because it’s significantly higher than 54, I would likely be forgiven were I to descend into some kind of mid-life-critical rant or melancholic sprawl.
Instead, I choose to celebrate this higher number by reviewing my journey as one of growth.
Since Day 0, I have not only “become a man”, I have morphed into various versions of that man. Today, on Day 20,000, I can sincerely and proudly say that I have evolved into the Best Version Of My Man Hereto.
And you know something wonderful? It feels like the Best Is Yet To Come.
SYNC24, White Pixels – (Instrumental – but what a track, oh my….!)
